“Relationship Advice from Dr. Ruth”
Marriage, n. - a rite were two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition until death do them part
---Lee Daniel Quinn’s Devious Dictionary

In a day and age where the ratio of divorces is surpassing the number of successful marriages, it is hard for some couples to keep it together. The secret of a successful marriage is well kept and those who will share an answer have many different responses. Many people do not know whom to ask when it comes to such problems, but there is one well-known authority on the subjects of love, relationships, and marriage.

If you said just the first name of this 70ish year old woman, you are sure to get a giggle or two, but she is one of the most famous marriage counselors in the country . . . Dr. Ruth Westheimer. She has done countless interviews in magazines and on television shows. She even has her own AOL website where she, personally, gives advice to the lovelorn. But she is asked the same question time and time again, “how can I make my relationship last?”

She arrived for an interview; this very small woman dressed professionally in a petite suit. She takes her time walking to one of the two chairs in the center of a nearly empty room. As she goes to sit, she has a little trouble climbing into the seat. But she is now ready to begin.

The first question, “what are your ideas about love? Do you think that they have changed . . .(Desert Exposure)?”

After taking a moment to think, Dr. Ruth replies “I think that our ideas about love have changed . . . because there is more freedom, there is more possibility for people to fall in love outside family’s or society’s regulations.” She goes on to say how social classes are not an issue anymore and that the “emotional requirement” as well as the “intellectual need . . . to be together” are more acknowledged (Desert Exposure).

Feeling as her answer was satisfactory, Dr. Ruth gently folds her hands in her small lap, waiting for the next question.

“I want to ask you about the process of falling in love . . .(Desert Exposure)”

You could tell that this was her favorite question. She tilted her head slightly to the side and took a deep breath as a glowing smile came over her face making her eyes squint. She looked as though she was remembering her own personal experience with love.

“I promise you that if you fall in love, you’ll know it” she laughs (Westheimer). She stated that men and women view love in the same manner so that when two people came together, it should be equal (Desert Exposure). Love can mean many things, but it also “changes and deepens and it is that deep love [with one person] that is the ultimate goal (Westheimer).”

She was still smiling. She talked with her hands as she answered, almost as she was trying to illustrate as well as to empathize her message.

“What do you think the key skills are in terms of sustaining a loving relationship (Desert Exposure)?”

She was excited, she had this answer down to an art. “The first ingredient has to be, to be vitally interested in that other person (Desert Exposure).” She also believed that consideration of your mate’s feelings and doing things for them was vital. Also that you do not have to tell your significant other everything about your past, but do be honest it they ask about something. And “if you have some suggestion [about the relationship], you have an obligation to say them, if you want [it] to continue.” The best time to do so it over a cup of coffee or another moment where “the emotional atmosphere isn’t so highly charged.” But if serious problems do arise, her best advice is to not be afraid to seek help, either from a marriage counselor or a third party. A marriage counselor would be best (Westheimer).

Her smile slowly dissolved and she talked in a more serious tone. She explained that if something happens and love starts to fade in a relationship, let it go if it can not be helped. Be satisfied that you tried to make it last. And do not regret the relationship for the rest for your life. When you find someone else to love, you will try harder to keep it that was (Westheimer).

Marriage, or even a relationship for that matter, is hard work. Taking some of this simple advice could possibly be worth while.

Works Cited

Westheimer, Dr. Ruth. Dr. Ruth Online. 28 Oct. 2002
“Desert Exposure Interview Dr. Ruth.” Desert Exposure. 28 Oct. 2002